Firstly, I’d like to apologise for the delay in updating this blog. Secondly, I’d like to apologise for the length of this post. I promise future posts will be shorter.
Saying that a lot has happened is probably a bit of an understatement. To summarise; my back is straight, I am alive, recovery is not fun and I can’t reach my toes.
Due to the time that has passed and the amount of drugs I was on my memory isn’t the best regarding details of the last three weeks. I will however try and string it together. And yes, there are pictures. Scary ones!
Friday morning I was given some anti-anxiety tablets to calm down. I thought I was pretty calm but these pills made it all even better. I didn’t care. I felt nothing. I couldn’t care less what was about to happen to me. I was wheeled to the operating area. I was in a pre-op preparation room. The anaesthesiologist there, Sergio from Colombia (no Katrin, I’m not kidding!), was chatting to me. We talked about language and how he had learned German in only a few months. I got a cannula in my right hand. I had an EKG there too, just incase. I was asked a couple questions regarding my medical history. I was asked about my reflux again. Said it’s fine if I take the tablet. Just incase they had a nurse stand by with a vacu-pump and they tilted the bed head up. I was given oxygen to breathe for a few minutes then the doc put something in my hand and I was told to relax…. I don’t remember anymore.
I woke up at some point in intensive care with my mam beside me. I remember getting something into my hand that made my head swim. I think I said “what’s in this stuff? This stuff is great”. Something to that effect. Mam took a photo. I had an oxygen tube in my nose. I remember trying to actively breathe through my nose because I automatically shut off my nose when there’s something in it. My boyfriend came in too. I remember mam asking the nurse if it’s ok if my fiancé came in late after 7. She was afraid they wouldn’t let him in if he was just my boyfriend. Haha. No we are not engaged!
I was so thirsty it was unbelievable! I was so afraid of throwing up that for most of the evening I only just wet my mouth and didn’t dare swallow much water. I slowly increased the amounts until I was guzzling it like it was going out of fashion.
During that night I barely slept. The blood pressure cuffs of everyone in the room went off every hour on the hour! There was an older lady who ended up vomiting. The guy beside me was there for observatIon because he was electrocuted! I remember the nurses and doctors talking to each other at the foot of the bed when they were doing rounds or changing shifts. Seemingly I lost 700ml blood during the op. That’s all I heard. I asked if I was able to turn around on to my side. They said the implant was stable and that I could lie on my side if I wanted.
I had a morphine drip right onto my spine. I pressed the button but felt nothing get better. Didn’t care. Kept pressing it all night! A friend told me they give you the tablets afterwards based on the amount of morphine you get from the drip so I pressed that button as often as I could!!!! They even upped the dosage at some point but I still didn’t notice anything get better when I pressed the button. After it was gone the only difference I noticed was that I noticed the scar sometimes but that was it. I got some more stuff in my hand at some point against pain and fell asleep from it. I asked for more when I woke up. I was given some oral morphine to drink, it was disgusting. I got so sick, I felt like vomiting. Called the nurse again. Got something against that. Fell asleep again.
I remember turning around and finding it rather comfortable. Because I lay on my right side I cut circulation to that arm slightly. Usually not a problem but I had an intra-arterial measurement thingy in my right arm that caused the monitor to beep until a nurse came when I lay on my right arm. My drip was also empty at some point and that gave an alarm. The others in the room also constantly had one alarm or other go off. It was a very very very very long night!!! Possibly the longest night of my life!
The following morning I was assisted in washing my face and brushing my teeth. Then breakfast…. Vanilla pudding.
Here’s me in intensive care just after I woke up! I look rather fit. I thought I was going to look like I was beat up by mike Tyson.
Saturday morning I was brought back to the room. A different room that the one I left.
There I kept pressing my morphine button. Kept falling asleep. My family came to visit then too. Watching me zone out!
Those are the days I remember the least about. Probably because not much happened. Ciara was on drugs. Ciara slept. Ciara was in pain. Ciara got more drugs and slept some more.
The next few days I just remember zoning out whilst doing something. I would take my phone to answer a txt and I would all of a sudden wake up mid txt. I have no idea how often I did that. I know I also saw messages, read them, fell asleep and when I woke up I put the phone away and forgot to answer….. So I’m very sorry if that was you! I think I answered most people after a while though. I also fell sleep while eating. I had barely any appetite anyway and the first couple of days I only got vanilla pudding and cocoa.
The nights were the worst. So much noise outside, so much pain inside. That morphine drip wasn’t doing it for me. I kept pressing and didn’t notice a difference. At night all you got extra for the pain was this oral morphine. That made me sick every time I took it. It also made me sleepy but I didn’t feel an improvement of the pain. I remember one night having taken it and all I was aware of after taking it was that I was about to vomit and that my back hurt! I kept having to get something against the nausea. The antibiotics also made me nauseous. I was so glad when I could stop them!
On the Saturday (day 1 postop) the physios came in and I stood for the first time and took some very shaky steps. My boyfriend was there and had to witness it. Poor guy. I don’t want to know what faces I was making. It felt sooooooo weird!!! A bit painful but mainly weird. Also I was high on drugs so that didn’t help the overall feeling. I didn’t faint though which is a good thing. I was expecting I would. Yay, so proud. First steps!!! From then on one of them came once every day to get me up.
On the Monday all of my tubes were pulled. Morphine drip in the back, wound drainage and the catheter. Was allowed to stop the antibiotics that evening too. From then on I had to get to the bathroom on my own! At first with the help of the nurse of course. She brought me a toilet chair that had wheels. She would come in help me stand up and sit me on the chair right beside the bed. Then leave me to it and I’d have to call her back to get back into bed. Eh… Yeah….. No. That’s not going to work. I can’t pee sitting in the middle of a room with a massive window. She ended up pushing me on that chair to the bathroom and sitting me on the real toilet. After a couple of times I was able to walk back to my bed holding into the chair and the nurse. Then only the chair and then walking to and from the bathroom on my own using the chair. Yay! I was able to pee on my own!!!
Because I was on so many opiates and I had barely eaten my bowel wasn’t moving. Opiates tend to stop their muscle movement. As soon as the nurse heard I could make it to the bathroom on my own she gave me a laxative to get things going. I was not happy about that. All went well but take into consideration the amount of time and effort I needed to go to the bathroom. I had to move a lot faster than I wanted to.
And those bloody drugs! My head was swimming. I felt unsafe walking or sitting. I kept asking about my tablets. That I wasn’t feeling well on them. And more importantly there weren’t enough!! And that I was NOT taking that oral morphine again. (They probably loved me!) I ended up getting a different pain med for the night times if I needed any extra. It took them a few days until I got more tablets after me repeatedly saying that the two tablets I get last max 18 hours and that I was in pain in the early hours of the morning and late evening. One nurse actually said to me that I should organise my meds better then, to take the tablet later so it lasts all night. hem yes so that I have a 6hour gap during the day instead of two 3hour gaps. Smart move sister! I ended up getting something to get me through that gap eventually. But best part!! A different nurse said she would give me another pill which counteracts the side effects of the oxicodon. I said yay. She came in later and exchanged my tablets and said the doctor had a better idea that this new tablet barely had side effects. She said we’ll keep trying until something fits, it’s a bit like doctor house she said. I said ok.
Oh my god! That night was the worst!! I couldn’t sleep at all. I was in so much pain. The extra pain meds weren’t enough! That new tablet wasn’t doing enough! I just lay there, cried and hoped morning would come soon so that I get the rest of my meds. They eased the pain a bit. When the doctor came in the morning I said it. She had an ass of a doctor with her and he just says “yeah well these operations are painful and stopping the opiates so soon wasn’t very smart of you”….. Squeeze me? Stopped opiates? What? I thought I was getting a different kind of one. My nice doc said she’d switch me back plus that anti side effects stuff. I later asked the nurse if I could have that opiate now since I’m supposed to be taking it again now. She asked had I taken my morning tablets. I said yes. She said that I can’t have the opiate until 7pm then because that would be double. I thought it wasn’t an opiate. She tells me it’s so similar that I can’t take it too. So I had to wait until 7pm to get some relief. I was angry and in pain. The nice nurse was right with her original idea that I can take the anti side effects stuff with it. It made a big difference. I mean I was still swimming but not nearly as much. Yay, nurse! Sometimes I think they should be given more liberties.
And here’s what you’ve all been waiting for!!! Some X-rays of the result!! And gory pics of the scar!!!!
24 titanium screws. One titanium rod. One cobalt chrome rod. Th5-L4
Compared to before:
The scar!!!
It has mostly closed perfectly except for the tiny red part at the bottom. That never reattached. It’s now open and slowly scarring shut.
I was sent home with a long list of drugs. Mainly opioids, muscle relaxants and analgesics. I stopped taking most of them the day I got home. I don’t understand how someone willingly takes these things. I felt awful.
The last time I took all of them was before I flew home in the hope of reducing the pain in my left leg, to no avail. I was so happy to finally be home!! In my own bed!!! I only took the relaxant and analgesics for a few days after that and then stopped them altogether. I found that the pain in my leg starts as a pain in my back which I didn’t notice under all those tablets. Now I do, so I lie down when it gets bad so that it doesn’t pull into my leg. That was an awful feeling and must be a nerve being irritated or something. Hoping tins will ease up soon. I want to move about. Since yesterday my head is finally cloud free so I want to move about.
All my drugs!!!
I’ve grown almost 4 cm.
I now can’t stand on both feet at the same time because the left leg is shorter. A good 2cm shorter! I now have to get my left shoe reheeled.
Things I wasn’t expecting:
-My laugh has changed. I have to breathe differently and I find my laugh is now different.
-Sneezing isn’t as satisfactory as it used to be.
-I fall to the left when I sit on hard surfaces…. Probably have less muscle on my left side than the right due to the way I stood before.
-I can’t eat as much as I did…. Although that will probably return to normal once I move more.
-sleeping is not my favourite pastime anymore. It’s actually quite uncomfortable. I can only lie on my right side or on my back so far and it a near impossible to get comfortable. This should also get easier though.
So all in all I’m happy with it and I’m unhappy with it. The fact that the part just under the fusion is causing problems already is really putting a downer on things. I really, really hope it’s going to stop soon and that this isn’t going to happen more often. My main problem is the I have pain under the fusion when I sit or stand and this pain pulls into my left leg sometimes. It means I’m lying around a lot since the pain is gone then. That’s not so good either. Waiting for a response from my surgeon on how to proceed.
I also have to go to the doctor more often because of that scarring part. Need to make sure it’s not infected and it’s clearing up.
Otherwise, cat and I are having a nice time together!!
Bent like a Pretzel 